We All Start As Strangers

A simple human exchange, a small personal effort, perhaps a shy smile that bridges the divide.

What’s in that smile? Is it a leap of faith, a door into someone’s inner thinking or an opportunity for connected healing? Perhaps it’s the chance to step outside the safety of anonymity, to share a moment or emotion, even if just for a fleeting second.

Is this what connects us? Do these small acts of kindness, these moments of ally-ship, really make a difference? Here at Relatable, we believe that everything starts with authentic connection and this is our gift to you. The concept of community and kinship; where we may start as strangers, but with time, acceptance and openness, we become related.

Tap Into Others

They say to write what you know, and I know about connection. 

I understand and seek out warmth, aware that it can be the difference between relatability and complete aloneness. You might be carrying a burden so huge it’s too heavy to lift, it may seem impossible to get dressed and walk out the door each morning, or maybe you’re simply having a flat day. A stranger offering you a little piece of their energy, the way they see you or how they interact with you, if recognised and savoured can lift that day. It can soften your edges, it may warm your heart; it could even offer relief from pain. A knowing smile can bring you back from the brink and reframe your perspective, just enough to make a small difference, sometimes simply in its ability to distract.

Perspective can mean everything and a simple readjustment can be all that’s needed to get you through the demands of your everyday life; second by second, smile by smile.

The Greater Human Connection

I have an obsession with human connectivity and the people we encounter everyday, those who might be giving us what we need, simply by being the right person at the right time. They can be the first person who passes you in the street, the girl who takes your coffee order, the lady on the bench next with the beautiful dog. Hell, it may even be the dog! Some strangers are willing to chat, some may not want to entirely engage, but whatever they have for you in that moment – take the warmth from them. It may just be enough to get you through the next hour or start to thaw the chill left by yesterday’s dispute.

As humans, we have a fundamental need for the greater ‘connection’, often readily available but seldom searched for.

Even in our modern lives, full of Instagram likes and Twitter re-tweets, we can find the connectivity we often yearn for. In fact, online connection is generally easier to find and contribute to. It can be rewarding to engage and relate to someone we don’t know. A (genuine) comment from a stranger can lift your spirits and inspire motivation; it can help you realise you’re not alone.

But in person we need to dig deep and offer up our true vulnerability; where there is no certainty that our attempt to connect will be welcomed or acknowledged. It is in these moments that we are truly vulnerable. This is where we show our real selves and strength, where the possibility of connecting with someone may seem riskier, but will pay dividends if reciprocated.  As children, we have little to no problem connecting; we have not yet learned shame or embarrassment, the risk is low because we aren’t particularly bothered by the outcome. Adulting is harder. We feel the sting of rejection, we feel the weight of not being seen or cared about. We become anxious if we don’t feel like we belong. 

But as the old adage goes, the greater the risk, the greater the reward. 

Building Communities

If the risk pays off, what are we then rewarded with? There is a wonderful gift in the knowledge that we are not alone in this big, crazy world; there is comfort in knowing that we’re all in this together. That we belong. And from this sense of belonging, we can construct a vision of togetherness and build a community.

I’ve watched many TED Talks, heard a multitude of stories, read articles of people paying it forward and creating a space for warmth and connection from those they do not know. There’s a school of thought amongst some that if we went looking for purposeful connection, if we intentionally bridged the divide – even with strangers – it would make a difference. That in seeking this out, we contribute to a collective social energy which provides the foundation for true goodness in humanity.

So we start small. We find a tired face in the elevator and offer a sympathetic smile, a transfer of energy, a glimmer in the eye to make those around us feel less alone. By giving and (hopefully) receiving in that one brief exchange, what do we take away from it? Are we a little lighter, a little more comforted, inspired to take the next step? From these simple foundations, these moments with strangers, we build strong communities. Brick by brick, we create a space for everyone to belong.

Make It Count

These are not simply random acts of kindness. These are opportunities to touch the lives of those who maybe suffering, those who feel alone or unworthy, those who struggle to open up. This is true connection. 

We often hear the phrase, “Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle.” It’s not untrue, but perhaps it’s lost its meaning. To strive to understand what someone is going through, to see that others have struggles at times bigger than our own; that perhaps the person next to us on the bus has troubles like ours. There is a beautiful word for this – Sonder. It is “the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own”. And perhaps together we can make living a little easier.

Let’s not close off from the world but venture outside, take down a brick or two from the walls we build around ourselves and see what the world has to offer. Smile at a stranger and lean into vulnerability; the reward may be more than you know.