There is so much written about small feats of courage, where we get it, how we use it and what we do with it.
A pocket full of gold
So I’ll let you in on a secret. Here’s where I get mine… I steal it! From other people’s mistakes and achievements, from cheesy quotes in rom-coms or Disney movies, from self-help books and gurus I follow; from awkward conversations I overhear. I take these snippets and turn them into little nuggets of bravery, sassy one-liners I say to myself when my head tells me, “Retreat! Back away!” By mulling these stolen gems over and over, I cultivate a re-birthed wisdom all of my own – who knew overthinking actually had a purpose?! I gather these specks of gold, pop them in my back pocket and let them simmer until they become something valuable that I can use when needed. I’ll be honest, often it’s nothing life-affirming or quote worthy, just small stuff that resonates with me personally and is congruent to my values and my thoughts; helping me put my big girl pants on and take on the world.
The thing that is required of me here is labour – emotional labour – and being consistently tuned into what is happening around me. It takes the hard lessons, the life shattering experiences, and the countless stupid things I’ve said & done to build up the courage to try again. That’s the background work needed (and frankly, I don’t even have to try – mistakes aren’t difficult!). It’s also everything I’ve conquered and it’s everything I’ve created, and me keeping memory of these emotions on standby; the things that give me strength, and me remembering what I have done well in the past. It is my awareness and objective self-reflection, stepping outside myself and taking a look at my own behaviours. What is this telling me? If we pay attention, there’s always a message we can spin into bravery gold.
These nuggets of courage are always there with me, hidden away but occasionally nudging, reminding me they’re still there, manifesting into a message as I go about my day. After a while, uncomfortable becomes acknowledgement, offering renewed perspective. The roughness wears down, and I begin to see the gold, just shining through. Just enough to get me through the next stupid thing I am brave enough to say, and maybe this time it won’t be so stupid!
Time to shine
I’ve gotten to a point in my life now, where change is a necessity and risk is a given. From a career perspective, I saw the crossroads ahead. Having worked in a corporate environment for 20+ years, I found myself with a choice to make. I could go out on my own and try something completely new; something wonderful that speaks to my purpose and passion. Or I could sit in safety. How would it be to team up with like-minded women who support my ideas and feel free to share theirs? Could I conquer my fears and take the risk? Now that I have a pocketful of nuggets; courage nuggets gathered over the years, I know I can walk into the unknown with faith. I can trust the process and the people I’m working with; be solid in the feeling that the universe has my back and I accept where I am right now. I walk forward clutching those tiny, shiny stones. As I march into a brave new world, I am still challenged with the thoughts of, “I have no idea what I’m doing, or where I’m going,” but I can now drum up the courage – even for a brief moment – and move forward.
You see, the thing is, where I am right now, what I’m doing, what I’m writing: I don’t actually know if I’m any good. What I write could just be white sliced bread, a bland recipe catering to the masses, rather mediocre in taste, and certainly nothing new, no depth or substance.
It took me ‘20 seconds’ and a whole handful of nuggets to write that and to potentially expose myself. But if I alter my perspective, follow the narrative of my new story, recall things I’ve done well (and not so well!), then maybe I’ll inspire someone. Maybe because of what I write someone else will benefit, and put themselves out there. Come and steal a courage nugget from me! What great things could happen? To actually put things in writing makes them far less scary. I’m doing this now because I am equipped to tell and believe my new story. Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you, something great will come of it.
I understand not everyone has this same accessible courage; the momentum to front up and try new things. You never know how much bravery it takes for someone to show their true feelings, to say what everyone else is thinking, to try something they never have before. But when we share our stories, we woman-up and we connect. If we read, learn and even overthink, we can actually find things that are useful. We can borrow nuggets from others and find a kind of psychological support in a community that shares it.
My ‘20 seconds’ of courage has manifested into the creation and establishment of The Relatable Project; it was tested in wanting and believing in an initiative that is a community like the one we are building. For those who question personal development techniques, I am testament to it working. I say buy the books, listen to Audible, read the quotes and take the risks – because it is reflecting on the mistakes I’ve made that I was brave enough to write this. It’s not big stuff, or saving lives, but it’s changed my narrative, and it could change yours too.
